“One of my favourite things is listening to my son tell me what he’s been up to each day,” says Rachel from Warrington
Rachel and her husband Carl adopted a brother and sister in 2017. Their son was four and their daughter was one when they became a family.
Rachel says: “We are both not British, but German and French Canadian. If you are thinking of adopting, I would say read some books by Sarah Naish – her books Therapeutic Parenting Essentials: Moving from Trauma to Trust and The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting: Strategies and Solutions are really good.”
Carl agrees: “We’ve picked up lots of strategies from her books and they’ve helped us understand better what our children need. I would also say make sure you have open communication with your partner if you are adopting as a couple.
“Definitely go to as many pre-adoption events as you can. Talk to people who have adopted or have been adoptees.”
Overcoming challenges together
There are always ups and downs but for Rachel and Carl, one of the positives from their adoption journey has been the support they’ve received. Carl says: “We had great involvement with the support worker. The Children’s support worker and foster carers were a great help. CAMHS (Children and young people's mental health services) and the post adoption team has been fundamental for us.
“With our eldest, we had great involvement with CAMHS and had parent therapy supported by the adoption fund. We have seen lots of changes in ourselves. We discovered lots about ourselves in the process and are still working on it. Our son engaged in psychotherapy, and we have seen him open up emotionally a lot more.”
Rachel adds: “One of my favourite things is listening to my son tell me what he’s been up to each day.”
Family impact
Adoption impacts your wider family, and it can change family dynamics.
Rachel admits: “Personally, I got very close with my mum as I needed someone to tell things about. It is difficult for family members to truly understand what the children have gone through and how it affects their whole lives, so conversations at the start weren't easy as we couldn't use 'traditional' parenting. Our families understood a lot better when they spent some supervised time with our kids, so they have become a better support system over the years.”
A big thank you to Rachel and Carl for sharing their adoption story.
Support available
Here at Together for Adoption, we offer lots of support, throughout the adoption process, and also once the adoption order has been granted.
If you are looking to start your adoption journey or want to find out more, you can contact our team by filling in our online enquiry form or call 01942 487272.